Understanding Sacrifice
by dragonwriter24cmf
Summary: Set in the movie 'Mewtwo Returns'. Mewtwo finally thinks he understands Ash's choice on the island, now that he's made it himself.


Understanding Sacrifice and Love

**Summary: **Mewtwo's thoughts when Giovanni takes him prisoner. Set in 'Mewtwo Returns'.

He had thought he would be safe, in the remote mountains. Particularly in a place Mew had guided him to. Mew. His predecessor, the one from whom he had been cloned. The one who had opened his eyes to the true purpose of power, to a world of emotions and thoughts that lay beyond his own anger and hurt. His own fury and sense of superiority. Mew, who had helped him sort his troubled thoughts after the incident on the island fortress.

He had thought he was safe. At least, as long as no humans came looking for him. But after over three years, humans had come looking. Giovanni, the one who had ordered his creation and tried to dominate him, came looking. With an army.

Alone, he would have defied the man to the bitter end. He refused to bow to anyone, and even had he wished to yield, it would not have been to a man like that. A man who used Pokemon with no thought, no consideration. Who treated them like property and tools, no more aware than the chair he sat on or the ships he flew. A man whose mind felt...cruel, hard, and poisonous to him. Even before he'd had a change of heart, he never would have followed this man. Now...no.

But he wasn't alone. He had his people to take care of. The clones he had created, the Pokemon who had come under his care. One of them, he knew, belonged to the boy. The young trainer who had changed his heart, altered his very soul with his selflessness. He would no sooner have seen that boy's Pokemon harmed than his comrades. In fact, he would no sooner have seen the boy himself, or his friends, harmed than his people. He protected people more out of duty and a need to hide than anything, but the young trainer was special. And his people were precious to him. He was unfamiliar with the concept of love, but he would sooner suffer himself than see any of his people so much as scratched.

And Giovanni had known. How, he wasn't certain. Perhaps he'd only seen that he'd emerged from the island to save his comrades who had left. Perhaps he had been watching somehow. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that, after their brief clash on the shore, he'd returned to find most of his people captive, and Giovanni's right hand servant holding a baby Nido-queen while it's parents stumbled along in their bonds.

He hadn't needed Giovanni's cold threat to understand. They were the hostages to force his hand. Refuse to obey, and his people would suffer. Everyone, from the adults to the infants, whose healthy birth he had overseen only a few months ago.

Only a few seconds of conscious thought, and the choice was made. _"Stand aside. I must...submit to him."_ The words felt like acid in his mind, made him sick to even say, but there was nothing else. No other choice he was willing to make. If someone must be sacrificed to Giovanni, it would be him or no one.

He watched the robots he thought he'd destroyed as the energy sphere formed between them. Listened to Giovanni's words, the cruel anticipation in them. "This is not meant to destroy you. It's simply meant to harness your abilities, mold your will to my purposes."

He could feel that it was more than that. The anticipation told him that, like the gleam in the man's eyes. Besides, Giovanni knew how stubborn he was, how powerful he was. That he thought he could break that, with something other than threats against the Pokemon under his protections...it did not bode well. _"Your purposes..." _he knew about Giovanni's purposes. He doubted they'd changed from the time almost five years ago, when he'd been the man's accomplice. Much like his methods.

As if to confirm his thoughts, the girl spoke again. "Don't bother destroying them. We'll just make more. And if you try to fight, your friends will be the ones to pay the price." A blast, then two, and he turned to see the two Pikachus falling to the ground. Bruised, battered, hurt. It made his heart ache.

Friends...he'd never thought of them as such. Because he'd never had friends. He didn't know what that word, that feeling meant. But if it meant caring for them enough to give himself to Giovanni, then he could see why the young humans stayed together. If what he had with his people was friendship it was both a blessing that had sustained him for years, and a painful burden. But there was no time to contemplate it further. _"Enough. I will do as you say."_

Giovanni's smile would have sent shivers down his spine, had he not been determined to suppress all signs of discomfort. "All you have to do is step into the light."

He could feel from the human's mind that once he did, he would be at Giovanni's mercy, and the man had none. He could feel the cruel glee, the malice in the man. The desire to break his pride. The twisted urge to make him pay for the humiliation he had dealt the man years ago, in destroying one of his bases. The field that shimmered between the two machines was no simple containment field. He knew it. Still...there was no choice. None he was willing to make. He heard his people crying out to him, begging him to refuse, telling him to stay away from the light. He continued forward.

Better this, better himself trapped and condemned to Giovanni's hand, than that his people suffer and be killed for his defiance.

The light enveloped him, and it was done. The sphere rose 30 feet off the ground. He could feel it restraining him. And Giovanni smiled, a cold ruthless smile that made his body tense. "Now you can't run away from me any more."

He couldn't help the retort that sprang to mind, sharp as fire. _"You may control my body, but you will never control my will."_ He would obey to protect his people, but he would never, ever, consider Giovanni his master. The world would freeze and he would die before it happened.

Giovanni's smile took on an edge of bloodlust, of pure malice. "We will see about that."

It was all the warning he had, that and the change in the field color, before the light, like miniature lightning bolts, struck him from all sides. And his body ignited in fire, nerves screaming, agony washing over him with unstoppable force as his body convulsed and he cried out.

_I will not submit._ He had never suffered like this before, but it didn't matter.

He heard Giovanni's cold voice speaking. "Your will is strong, but pain makes the body master of the will. We'll see how long you struggle."

He heard Giovanni continue speaking about a lab and experiments, and understanding washed over him in a cold wave.

Giovanni would still use his people in experiments. His heart ached at the thought, and the knowledge that he could not prevent it, or what the man would do to this place. But one thing...one thing he could do.

Giovanni intended to torture him into submission, then use his torture, and his breaking to control his people. His pain would serve to frighten them into yielding, his breaking to break their spirits, and afterward he would lead them to their dooms, a broken shell of himself.

He drew himself inward, pulling his shields and determination tighter around himself than he had ever done before. Just touching his power redoubled his agony, but he let it happen. Within the core of power, he silenced himself, so that his screams could not disturb his people. So his torment could not frighten them. That done, he wrapped all his mind, all his soul, around one single thought. _I will not submit._

Time passed. He lost track of the hours and the days. He was aware, in a distant way, of sunrise and sunset, but it had no true meaning for him. His mind was raw and open, all his shields being used to maintain his silence and his determination, and the pain overwhelmed everything else.

Torture. The field itself held him captive, his body aching and stiff from being pinned in one position, his nerves aflame with the lightning that never let up, never ceased to dance over his body. It was a constant torment. His whole being was consumed by the pain that wracked him.

His mind was no better off. Unshielded, he heard everything. He hadn't been so rawly aware since his first weeks after he'd awoken. Every breath of every living thing on the island echoed in his mind. Giovanni. His henchmen. The sullen anger of the captured trainers, including the boy who mattered so much. The fears and concerns of his people. The resonances of the Pokemon who lived around the lake and island, and even the mountain they resided on. The sheer amount of thought and emotion...the thoughts of the Team Rocket members made him ill. The thoughts of the young trainer and his companions made his stomach clench, and his people's fears made his chest ache. He could feel their concern for him, their care for him, and he was unable to respond through the torment inflicted upon him. There was no way he could try to reassure them. Touch their minds, and they would know of the suffering he endured, and they would fear for him all the more.

The agony was his constant companion. Sometimes, small thoughts would escape to distract him for a few moments. He heard the drills of the machinery being used to build Giovanni's lab, and it saddened him. Once or twice, he found himself thinking of the boy. The boy who was called Ash.

He had been puzzled, and shocked, when the young trainer had sacrificed himself for the Pokemon, and when the Pokemon had wept for the boy. He hadn't understood. Mew had explained it to him, in it's own way but he hadn't understood how anyone could make such a decision. Mew had told him that he would know, if the time came, but he had often wondered if he were even capable of such things. He had once told the boy that he would leave until his heart understood what the young trainer already knew so well, but he had never believed, really, that he would.

He understood it now. That one breath of a moment, when he had known that he would give anything to protect his people. That he would place himself in Giovanni's clutches for their sake. That... the feeling he had held for his people...that was what the boy Ash had understood. It was, in it's own way, comforting. He did have the capacity to care for others, for his people, that the young trainer had. And he could hear his companions, his friends, weeping for him as they had once wept for the young trainer. He had never felt how deeply they loved him before. Pikachu had been the most vocal in it's concern for him, but he could feel, in their sorrow and worry, how much each and every one of the Pokemon he had created and then brought to this refuge cared for him. On one level, it hurt, to feel how frightened they were for his sake. On another, their care for him and each other soothed him.

And then...things changed. The Pokemon of the surrounding area grew angry.

He felt them long before they came to the island. The dense cloud of minds, mostly insect, all united in a single thought and purpose, to stop the humans who polluted their territory and injured other Pokemon. To stop the humans whose loud noises and machines so disturbed the natural order of things.

Had he not been suffering as he was, tortured to the edge of his endurance and fast losing his grip on his mind and his body, it would have amused him. As it was, he could only think, in one corner of his exhausted mind, that perhaps this would provide a chance for his people to escape. His people, and the boy Ash and his companions.

He hoped his people would escape safely. If it were not possible, he hoped the boy would defend them as he had done so long ago. If needed, he could drop his shields long enough to issue an order, that his people submit to the young trainer. Ash would care for his Pokemon, and release them if they truly desired it, once they were safe. He suspected the boy's companions would be as kind. And even if they didn't gain their freedom, Ash would be a far better master than Giovanni.

He didn't want to give his people such an order, but he would if it was necessary to protect them. When his strength failed, it would be his final act to protect them.

Explosions rocked the ground around them. The fear of the humans battered at his mind and soul, an added torment. Then, a surge of hopeful triumph resonated through his mind, and a grim hope filled him.

His people had escaped. The boy and his friends were free.

His strength had held out that long at least. Long enough for his people to have a chance at safety. His final goal had been accomplished. Now, no matter what Giovanni did to him, that which he cared about was safe.

He was slipping toward the darkness of unconsciousness, a mercy he had not permitted himself for fear Giovanni would use it to force him to yield, when the shouts of two Pikachus broke through the haze of his pain-filled mind. He looked.

The two Pikachus were directly below him, their worry for him echoing in every line of the small bodies. There were two Meowths as well. And...the last person he had expected to see. Ash. The boy trainer who had so changed his world. And with him, his two friends.

Relief filled him. The shields he had erected around his heart and mind shattered against it. Had not the energy field held him bound in his position, he would have collapsed there.

The Pikachus cried out at him, and he mustered the strength for words. It was agony, but they needed it. _"__I am glad you are safe. But I...__"_. He couldn't lie to them. And he needed them to leave, before the last of his strength ran out. Before he broke completely. Or died. He did not want them to see this. "_I cannot bear this much longer." _The last words emerged in a groan of pain, one he had no more strength to stop.

And the boy spoke. "Mewtwo."

Shock galvanized him, gave him a sudden strength he hadn't known he possessed. He was sure he had wiped the boy's memory of their previous meeting. And for that moment, he had something to think of other than his suffering. _"How...do you know my name?"_

The boy was watching him, a familiar compassion in the dark eyes. "We heard it from Meowth. He said you were the one that saved my Pikachu." The shimmer of anger in Ash's eyes, the way his fists clenched, made it obvious that Meowth had told of this too. Of the torture he was enduring, and why. "There's gotta be something we can do to help you now."

Wild, desperate hope filled him. He would have said it was impossible, with anyone else, but then...this was the boy who had destroyed his lab at one point. The boy who had changed his mind, and his heart, when he'd thought nothing could sway him. The words broke from him in a desperate plea before he could stop them. _"Stop these machines!"_

Instantly, all three children were examining the machines that held him captive. He heard the girl ask about a cutoff switch, knew there wasn't one. Giovanni had wired these to respond to remote computer control, so he'd have less chance of destroying them. Seconds later, he heard the older boy's confirmation. "They're all sealed up!"

But the boy refused to give up. Instead, he set his shoulder and his feet in a stance that Mewtwo remembered well. "We'll just have to tackle it." Then he ran at the machine, slamming into it with a bruising force that made the whole thing shudder. It must have hurt, but he was backing up for a second run before the vibrations stopped.

As his friends joined him, as the Pokemon with him joined in, Mewtwo watched. He didn't know if they could succeed or not. He doubted it. After all, he'd blasted these machines into the ground at one point, and they were still functioning. But...

They were trying. And in that moment, as he watched them fight for him, he came to a decision. He had told Giovanni that he would die before serving him, and he'd meant it. The only thing that had stayed his hand was the threat to his people. That threat was lifted. If he could not escape...then it was time. Time for the last defiance, and his last gift and sacrifice to his people.

The machine careened over on one side...and nothing happened. It was too well made. The older boy looked at him in helpless regret. "We can't stop it!"

It was time. He watched Ash rise, then waited until the young trainer met his eyes. _"Then I must use...what remains of my power. Either the machines will be destroyed...or I will be."_ In truth, he had little doubt of the outcome. But there was no time to think about it. He gathered the remnants of his strength, a mere shadow of what he normally possessed, and flung them at the two devices that held him prisoner.

If the machines had reacted badly to his passive shields, his silencing shields, this was a thousand times worse. Agony flared, white hot and burning, throughout his body. His nerves, the channels of energy he used for his powers, his mind...everything was set aflame. He screamed, a long wordless howl of desperate agony as the field reverberations tortured him, seared every pathway of his already battered mind and body.

He heard the children shouting encouragement, along with the Meowths, but it was a distant thing, barely perceptible to his tortured mind. All his focus was on the power he brought to bear against the machines, and the rest of his being was swallowed up in torment. He could feel his mind and body fracturing under the onslaught, and fought to maintain that last scrap of focus.

It wasn't enough. Despair touched him. And then, like a miracle, he heard Ash speak. "Pikachu, both of you. Help out with your thunderbolts."

A second wave of power joined his, targeting the machine on his right. He gathered his remaining energy, shoved it into the power loop in a last desperate push that took everything he had and more.

And it was enough. Just barely, but it was enough. With a screech of overheated metal, the machine on his right exploded, followed seconds later by the other.

The field vanished, and he fell thirty feet onto the rocks with a crunch that told him that he'd broken something, probably several things in his body. In the wake of the torment he had been released from, it felt too minor to even notice. And as the adrenalin and the last edges of his concentration faded, he could not even feel that. Only a bone deep exhaustion, trying to drag him into darkness.

The Pokemon and trainers surrounded him. Ash was smiling at him. "You did it! You beat them!"

_"Yes."_ He had. He had won. Weary satisfaction filled him, then drained into the numb exhaustion. _"But I have also...destroyed myself." _he could feel that much. He had drained his powers to nothing. Without them, he could not heal the physical damage he had suffered. And his mind was too raw, too broken by what had been done to him, for him to have wielded the power, even had he possessed any to wield.

The Pikachus were crying, tugging at him. It was Meowth who translated the words he was too weak to. "They're sayin' to go to the spring."

The older boy nodded. "The water from there did help revive the Pikachu. Maybe it will help Mewtwo."

Spring? He wondered if they meant the one in the middle of the island. He knew of it, his people all spoke highly of the water. He had gone to look at it a few times, and had even sipped from it to check it for safety. It was unusually clean, and good, but he hadn't drunk from it much. He did remember that Mew had told him to watch over it, that it was important. But it hadn't told him why. But if it was some kind of restorative...well it explained a great deal.

Ash nodded. "Let's go there."

The three trainers bent. Gentle hands slipped under his battered, broken body. He felt Ash shift his hand away from a badly bruised place on his shoulder, felt the older boy and girl checking for broken bones and bad bruising as they positioned their hands to raise him. Instead of turning him over, which would have been easier for them, but agony for him, they lifted him off the ground as he was. Ash supported his head as they did so, pulling him upright enough that Ash, smallest of the three, could slip around under his arm to support him and wrap an arm around his midsection.

He had never been touched with such kindness. Not by a human. And he had rarely, if ever, let his own people touch him. His powers made such contact hard to endure, and he had been too used to callous treatment, if not outright cruelty, in his early memories. But these hands touched him gently, seeking to minimize his suffering. The warmth of their concern for him flowed over his battered mind, soothing the burning pain of his torture, rather than adding to it. This was a new feeling for him, and he leaned into it gratefully, even as he wondered at it.

Then a familiar presence touched his mind, and if he could have, he would have groaned in despair.

Giovanni stood a few yards away, anger and possessive fury on his face. "You're not going anywhere. Mewtwo belongs to me, and I will decide whether it survives or not!"

Anguish flowed through him. Giovanni would torture him to death or chain him in a lab. And these children couldn't stop him. He had too many people on his side, too many Pokemon chained to his will. And he could not stop it. He was about to tell Ash to release him when the other young trainers leaped to their feet.

Shock filled him as both threw out Pokeballs, releasing a group of Pokemon to stand in front of them.

They were defying Giovanni. They had to know how badly they were outmatched, but they were still defying the Team Rocket leader. For his sake.

Another surge, and then a cacophony of roars and whistles and shrieks. And he raised his eyes to see his people on Giovanni's other side, their intention clear. They too would defy the humans for his sake. If it had been possible, he would have wept.

The boy spoke. "Ash, take Mewtwo and go. Hurry."

Ash nodded. "Right. I got it." Then he felt the youngster's hand tighten on his arm, just enough to grip, as Ash rose to his feet and lifted him to his.

It hurt. But Ash seemed to sense it and stopped, just before it would have become unbearable. Then the young trainer shifted his grip, got a shoulder under his own, and half-led, half-carried him away, towards the stairs that led to the island interior.

It shocked him. This boy...was saving him? He didn't understand. He had sacrificed himself. Ash had to know that, if Meowth had told them what had happened. And all he could gain from this defiance was imprisonment at Giovanni's hands, and the loss or injury of his beloved friends and Pokemon. Why?

Ash paused, breaking his thoughts. The youth released two Pokemon, both grass Pokemon. There was a muttered command, or request, and seconds later he felt two sets of vines curling around him, supporting him. The pain in his lower limbs eased, as did the pain in is shoulder, draped over Ash's back. He wasn't aware that he'd even made mention of his pain.

The question in his mind returned, and he spoke it before he could stop to think. _"Why? Why are you helping me?"_ Why risk so much for him, when he was already dying? When he wasn't his? When the cost of failure would be so high?

Ash only smiled. "You saved my Pikachu. That's a good reason."

He blinked, oddly sad. _"The...only one?"_ Was it only an exchange of favors? He had thought there was more to the boy's kindness.

Ash shook his head, his smile warm and comforting. The warmth in it seemed to flow over him, easing his pain. "Do you always gotta have a reason to help someone?"

And he understood. The boy cared for him, as he had cared for the Pokemon on the island before. There was no reason behind his kindness beyond kindness itself. For this child, to have the ability to help was reason enough.

He had never encountered anyone like this. He wished it had been this boy who had wakened him, rather than the scientists. This boy who had claimed him, rather than Giovanni. He sighed. _"Perhaps..." _But he could not voice those desires. _"You are unique. A unique human. One of a kind."_

Ash shifted his shoulders. "Well, you're one of a kind too. Everyone is. That's what my mom says."

The thought amused him. Everyone was individual? There was truth to that. But he had always been...different. Alone. There were no others like him, and there never would be. Still...he found himself huffing out a quiet laugh, the first he could ever remember. _"I...do not know what I am. And soon...it may not matter."_

He was still dying, and he doubted the spring could save him. And yet, even if it failed...it was good. Giovanni would leave his people alone if he died, and they would be safe, and free to stay in seclusion or go make new lives for themselves if they wished. He would die in the arms of someone who cared for him, as himself, protected by those he loved and who loved him. And his last memories would be of this, of sunlight and kind words, and this laughter that he had never felt before.

They approached the spring, and he was surprised to see two adults there. Both greeted ash with surprise. The young woman was staring at him. "Ash...what's that?"

"This is Mewtwo. It's hurt real bad and it needs to get into the spring water right away."

The older man protested, and for a moment, he felt a weary pain. Of course...it was an important thing. If this water was truly so powerful...the man was right. He had no doubt that, filthy and broken as he was, he would contaminate the water. He waited for the boy to concede.

To his surprise, Ash tensed, and he felt hot anger flare from the boy. "I'm sorry, but the one who needs that water the most right now is Mewtwo!" He had just enough to time to be shocked at this defense before the boy shifted his grip and literally threw him into the spring.

Water flowed over him, cooling the burning pain of his torture. Gentle, cool pressure surrounded him on all sides, supporting him without smothering him. He opened his mouth slightly allowed the liquid to slip down his parched and raw throat. He felt the hot pain behind his eyes recede. His pain ceased to torment him. The bruises of his fall, the feel of broken bones in his body, faded. He opened his eyes, and felt...recognition.

His earliest memories were dreams of this place. Memories that were not his own. The memories that were his legacy from Mew.

Now he understood why Mew had brought him here, urged him to protect this place. This place was...home. His birthplace, the place where Mew slept in it's long slumbers. Far more than just the purifying waters of the spring, Mew had read his desire for home, for a place to belong, and brought him here, to this place that was Mew's refuge and sanctuary.

He was home. And as the water healed him, he realized another thing. _This is no dream. I can feel new life within me. But if these waters work on me as they do on Pokemon who were born into this world naturally then this world...is truly my rightful place too?_

Sacrifice. Love. Home. Friendship. The things he had never known were all here in this place. The answers he had searched for were here in this place.

He felt Giovanni's presence above the spring, the shudder of the earth as he fired his cannon into the ground._ No. I will not permit this._

He reversed his position in the water, noting how easy the movement was, then gathered himself and rocketed toward the surface.

This place had healed and protected him in so many ways. It had given him the chance to discover all the things he had wanted his whole existence, to find within himself the courage and love he had so admired in the young trainer Ash. It was his home.

He wasn't going to let Giovanni destroy that.

_**Author's Note: **I wrote this ages ago, back when I watched Pokemon with my younger brother. I found it again and decided to finish it, because of all the Pokemon I know about, MewTwo was always my favorite._


End file.
